Meditation | A New York Minute

Hermann Göring famously said that "Whenever I hear the word culture I reach for my gun." And whenever I read the words success, payoff or prosperity coupled with meditation, eastern philosophy, or Buddhism, I, too, reach for my gun. But, being a pacifist, it's a water-gun.

Mark Thornton tells us that, after retiring as interim CEO at J. P. Morgan, London, "My new career has been teaching major corporations about finding calm." You're a corporation, you're flustered, you need peace, he's your man.

He bills himself as "the world's first executive meditation coach."

I've spent more than 3,000 hours learning and teaching these techniques in the past year alone,

says Thornton, peace-giver to the driven of Wall Street. What does he teach? "Calm, bliss, love, compassion."

Think of it --- you're one of those corporate types (complete with options and golden parachute) at McDonalds, Disney, Wal-Mart, General Motors, and the coach is there with you on the zafu, the two of you in what he calls "hypermeditation."

Executives! Forget those drudge-filled days sticking it to loyal workers by downsizing the corporation, sabotaging their pension plans, firing employees of forty years moments before their retirement benefits kick in. You and your meditation coach can move blissfully together into beatitude after a busy, cost-cutting day.

On the last page of Meditation in a New York Minute, we are told that Thornton

directs a project to teach and test the bottom line impact to companies on implementing Eastern techniques to create drive, focus, and productivity

demonstrating our writer's compassion for the balance sheet combined with a total ignorance of the blessings of English syntax.