Time Leap:
Relativity and
Alzheimer's

RALPH:

Subject: Time Leap

I read somewhere India has only one time zone everywhere.  Includes  several normal time zones?. Time is  stuck.  Midnight time and dark, remain midnight time and noon  for thousands of miles of India.  Terribly confusing.  I would not like to deal with Indian sidereal time. You're in Allappuza and you might as well be in Guwahati, or, worse, Thiruvananthapuram --- with all the cows and goats and dogs and ghats.

Causality is another Time Leap problem.  Some science savant  asked, "Can a result  precede a cause?"  Perhaps time is circular?  Savant speculated that there was a feedback loop complexity.... Instantaneous feedback loops gone nuts or something....  Maybe a möbius?

I went to buy my poor dog a bone and experienced The Full Year Time Backleap.  Everyone at the town Ag Supply Store turned around sharply. I  had looked up from writing a check....  "Is this O Five," I asked, "or O six? "

Shock and horror by clerks and customers.  Gasps.  Alzheimer's manifest and materialized?  Right here in River City, Mon!    "Just funning." I said loudly.  "Time is a metaphysical issue,  and relative to me!  Did you know what  year it is? Just then. Julian Calender?"  "How do you know it is O Six back in Ann Arbor, or Detroit?  Right now. 

Just testing ... I'm a full professor you know.  With tenure.  We can ask dumb questions that you know are dumb.  They are.  But it's a living. No stooping and lifting.  No working outside in winter!"

Everyone turned away and began examining walls and ceiling.  It was, I then remembered, O Six.  "I know it's O Six," I remarked loudly.  I was just testing you and I'm a little shocked. Shocked!"

--- Paul Nickel