Art Works for Sale at
RALPH

To: lolitalark@yahoo.com

From: Joseph Wilkie

RE: Artwork at Your Magazine

Hello,

My name is Joseph Wilkie from San Jose Carlifonia . I was looking to purchase an artwork for our anniversary as a surprise gift to my wife and i came across your contact through google artists database.

I will appreciate if you can forward some of your piece of work available within this price range $500-$3000, available for immediate purchase. Thanks and best regards,

--- Joseph
josephwilkie9@gmail.com

Hi, Joseph:

And thanks for your interesting email.

We are surprised and pleased to hear that we appear in "google artists database" although we are hard put to figure out what that august search engine thinks we have in the way of "artwork."

For instance, I think of our staff here as "a piece of work" in the best sense. Our editor looks just like you or me, but what with all the tattoos, one can hardly be faulted for wondering about such an odd bulk with so many symbols, pictures, and symbols --- in reds and blues and greens and purples yet --- sprinkled about hither and yon.

For one, she has a thing about eyes, has several tattooed in odd places. You may catch yourself staring at her, not really wanting to be impolitic, but she is terribly fond of dropping this and that article of clothing to show off what she calls her "visual highlights." She does this mostly when you're least expecting it and you'll find that, as you are looking her over, she may well be looking right back at you with an eye here, a pair of orbs over there, a dozen or so down in the nether regions. It's all very eerie and disjointing, but, somehow, at the same time, very loveable.

Some of us here would be delighted to ship her off to you, no matter how expensive --- it might cost you the full $3,000, plus room and board --- but I think it may not be exactly the artwork you had in mind for your wife to, presumably, have and to hold.

The real artwork. They are called reviews (and sometimes readings). We place them online each month with appropriate pictures. Over the twenty years we have been in business, there are some that we have come to call High Art. I will list my favorites here, and you should know that you can get them for free, right now, with no charge.***

• Bonehead English: How to Teach Failing English Students

• Pier-Luigi Zucchini: An Appreciation

• Bertha Alyce: Mother exPosed --- Gay Block

• Kicking Ducks: A Study in Enlightened Hunting

• Tumbling After

--- L. Lark
Ed.