(On the Results of a Secret Investigation at the
Vatican Concerning Alleged Violations of
Strictures of Celibacy that Occurred in the
Rood Loft of the Holy See during a
Recent Quadrisima Sunday; Said Irregularities
Between a Cardinal and an Acolyte
Having Transpired Quietly,
and,
Possibly,
Lovingly):
The four silent witnesses
Did not speak to each other.
--- F. W. V. Thompson