The Worst Journey in the World

Apsley Cherery-Garrard participated in Scott's last and fatal journey to the South Pole, and, ten years later, wrote a book about it called The Worst Journey in the World.
Some of the most fascinating parts of his tale is the "side trip" that he and two of his companions took, in the winter of 1912, to the base of the well-named Mount Terror.

It was, ostensibly, an exploration to get eggs of the Emperor Penquin: but like so many of the mis-adventures that befell Scott and his companions (always, strangely, in the name of "science"), it was a journey so fraught --- so impossible, so dreadful --- that Cherry labelled this two month side trip (and not the main expedition) The Worst Journey in the World.

When Cherry finally makes it back to England, he gets to endure one more "worst journey..." That's when he goes to the Natural History Museum of London to present them with the penguin eggs, the very eggs that damn near cost him his life.

And now the reader will ask what became of the three eggs for which three human lives had been risked hundred times a day, and three human frames strained to the utmost extremity of human endurance.

Let us leave the Antarctic for a moment and conceive ourselves in the year 1913 in the Natural History Museum in South Kensington. I had written to say that I would bring the eggs at this time. Present, myself, C.-G., the sole survivor of the three, with First or Doorstep Custodian of the Sacred Eggs. I did not take a verbatim report of his welcome, but the spirit of it may be dramatized as follows:

First Custodian: Who are you ? What do you want? This ain't an egg-shop. What call have you to come meddling with our eggs? Do you want me to put the police on to you? Is it the crocodile's egg you're after? I don't know nothing about no eggs. You'd best speak to Mr. Brown; it's him that varnishes the eggs.

I resort to Mr. Brown, who ushers me into the presence of the Chief Custodian, a man of scientific aspect, with two manners: one, affably courteous, for a Person of Importance (I guess a Naturalist Rothschild at least) with whom he is conversing, and the other, extraordinarily offensive even for an official man of science, for myself.

I announce myself with becoming modesty as the bearer of the penguins' eggs, and proffer them. The Chief Custodian takes them into custody without a word of thanks, and turns to the Person of Importance to discuss them. I wait. The temperature of my blood rises. The conversation proceeds for what seems to me a considerable period. Suddenly the Chief Custodian notices my presence and seems to resent it.

Chief Custodian:

Heroic Explorer: I should like to have a receipt for these.

Chief Custodian:It is not necessary; it is all right. You needn't wait.

Heroic Explorer: I should like to have a receipt.

But by this time the Chief Custodian's attention is again devoted wholly to the Person of Importance. Feeling that to persist in overhearing their conversation would be an indelicacy, the Heroic Explorer politely leaves the room, and establishes himself on a chair in a gloomy passage outside, where he wiles away the time by rehearsing in his imagination how he will tell off the Chief Custodian when the Person of Importance retires. But this the Person of Importance shows no sign of doing, and the Explorer's thoughts and intentions become darker and darker. As the day wears on, minor officials, passing to and from the Presence, look at him doubtfully, and ask his business. The reply is always the same: "I am waiting for a receipt for some penguins' eggs."

At last it becomes clear from the Explorer's expression that what he is really waiting for is not to take a receipt but to commit murder. Presumably this is reported to the destined victim; at all events the receipt finally comes; and the Explorer goes his way with it, feeling that he has behaved like a perfect gentleman, but so very dissatisfied with that vapid consolation that for hours he continues his imaginary rehearsals of what he would have liked to have done to that Custodian (mostly with his boots) by way of teaching him manners.

Some time after this I visited the Natural History Museum with Captain Scott's sister. After a slight preliminary skirmish in which we convinced a minor custodian that the specimens brought by the expedition from the Antarctic did not include the moths we found preying on some of them, Miss Scott expressed a wish to see the penguins' eggs. Thereupon the minor custodians flatly denied that any such eggs were in existence or in their possession. Now Miss Scott was her brother's sister; and she showed so little disposition to take this lying down that I was glad to get her away with no worse consequences than a profanely emphasized threat on my part that if we did not receive ample satisfaction in writing within twenty-four hours as to the safety of the eggs, England would reverberate with the tale.