Great Reviews of the Past
The Clock of the Long Now
"I would like to propose
a large (think Stonehenge) mechanical clock,
powered by seasonal temperature changes.
It ticks once a year,
bongs once a century,
and the cuckoo comes out every millennium."

BRIEF REVIEWS
Stump
Tar and Feathers
Chicano Sketches
Victor Suárez vs. Mario Suárez

LETTERS
Tibetan Buddhism
World War One
Disability
Onanism

ARTICLES
MAILER DAEMON
"The Galant'Uomo clan
managed a comfortable living
from our flock of goats,
our vineyard, and our orchard
of spaghetti trees, with a little numbers-
running on the side for spare cash."

An Interview with S. J. Perelman
Part One
Q: "How many drafts of a story do you do?"
A: "Thirty-seven. I once tried doing
thirty-three, but something was lacking,
a certain --- how shall I say? --- je ne sais quoi.
On another occasion, I tried forty-two versions,
but the final effect was too lapidary ---
you know what I mean, Jack?"
Part Two
"The closest analogy
I can draw to describe Hollywood
is that it strikingly resembled the Sargasso Sea ---
an immense, turgidly revolving
whirlpool in which literary hulks
encrusted with verdigris moldered
until they sank."

READINGS
Conducting a War from the Bedroom
"Work went on everywhere,
in his study, in the dining-room,
in his bedroom. One might find oneself
unexpectedly sitting in the family circle or
sharing a meal while one took
his orders."

Edition 69
Jindrich Strysky
"Old age likes to coddle time.
Morality sleeps soundly
only in pleasure's embrace.
And her eyes, which never
closed at the heights of pleasure,
expressed an otherworldly rapture,
appearing to be ashamed at the
conduct of her lips."

POETRY
Dreamers
"Soldiers are citizens of death's grey land,
Drawing no dividend from time's to-morrows.
In the great hour of destiny they stand,
Each with his feuds, and jealousies, and sorrows.
Soldiers are sworn to action; they must win
Some flaming, fatal climax with their lives.
Soldiers are dreamers; when the guns begin
They think of firelit homes, clean beds, and wives."

The Redeemer
"A rocket fizzed and burned with blanching flare,
And lit the face of what had been a form
Floundering in murk. He stood before me there;
I say that He was Christ; stiff in the glare,
And leaning forward from His burdening task,
Both arms supporting it; His eyes on mine
Stared from the woeful head that seemed a mask."

Great Poems of the Past
The Chocolate Soldier
"Some called it 'The Slim Disease' ---
Thrushes in the springtime,
Cat-scratch in the fall.
Meningitis by morning,
Lymphoma in the afternoon,
Salmonella at night.
And for our last winter together:
Candidiadis, Kaposi's..."

THE OFFICIAL RALPH
Paradox-of-the-Month

THE OFFICIAL RALPH
Paradox-of-the-Year

GENERAL INDEX
A complete list of all books reviewed in RALPH,
arranged by title, including author, subject, and publisher,
plus a listing of all readings, articles and poems
that have appeared since 1994.

A PITHY SAMPLE
of our most notorious reviews
as collected in the hard-copy
"FOLIO"

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