NEW TITLES
A Dynamic God
"With any luck,
some people will follow your example.
Many more will not. Don't worry. You can pray for
but you cannot effect conversion in others.
Attend to your own."

After the Fall
"It's more than a
collection of poems
by an old hippy:
it is a life's review
by a very funny man
of a whole time and culture.
And it's put together by one
who is zany enough
to stick in a paean
to his schwantz,
the two of them now
in their 'golden years.'"

The Farther Shore
"I think we've given
a choice when we die.
We can go up or down,
or we can stay right here.
Those who choose to stay here
are usually just too angry
to go anywhere else.
Or maybe too sad,
I guess."

Telephone Ringing in the Labyrinth
"Let us suppose that
William Blake came into his prime
on the streets of New York
in the mid-20th Century.
Given the state of American versification,
the most he could have expected
would have been an adjunct professorship
at Staten Island A & M.
In print technology."

Winged Wonders
"Konrad Lorenz observed
how easily a goose
becomes attached to a human,
but obviously he didn't know
that farm in North Carolina near
where we grew up
where the gander would
chase us around the barn,
trying to goose us.
And not playfully, either."

The Jew of Home Depot
"It's a nigh about perfect
example of a modern short story:
just enough detail,
the right pacing,
interesting (brief) limning of
the four main characters
and a fine plot-line."

Great Reviews of the Past
The Great Arc
"No-one, least of all the Indians,
liked working under Col. George Everest,
who was what Dr. Johnson would call 'a prig.'
On top of that, he pronounced his name funny.
It was pronounced not
Ever-rest (like cleverest),
but Eve-rest (like cleve-rest.)"

BRIEF REVIEWS
Battle Creek
Love in the Ivory Towers
Ten Poems to Change Your Life
Again & Again

LETTERS
Charles Colson
How Now Shall We Live

MORE LETTERS
Quantcast
Hits on the Internet

EVEN MORE LETTERS
Foot Orthotics and
RALPH

YET EVEN MORE LETTERS
My Bloody Life
Clock and Skull

ARTICLES
The Third Ave. El.
"I found that the old names
of the major lines have gone out of use,
and people looked at me oddly when I
referred to the BMT, IRT, and IND.
And they looked at me
even more oddly when
I mentioned my own,
all-time favorite,
the old 3rd Avenue El."

Great Articles of the Past
Sex and Violence and the FCC
"I appeared before
the Senate Commerce Committee in hearing
in connection with license terms for broadcasters.
Among my suggestions was one which
would address the issue of sex and violence
without the government having to
venture into the delicate
area of censorship."

READINGS
I'll See You Around
"Well, I'll see you around."
"Nice to see you again."
"I see what you mean."
When I use expressions like these,
some of my sighted friends
are surprised.
They laugh,
perhaps teasing me,
and say, 'You don't really
mean that, do you, John?"

Facial Vision
"It was through
sensing these trees,
and verifying their
exact location with my stick,
that I gradually realized
that I was developing
some strange kind of perception.
I learned that I could
actually count the number of
these trees which I would pass
along the road leading
down to the University gates."

POETRY
Two by Edward Field
"Of course, one spill and I could be
in the Village Nursing Home that I pass every day.
We're waiting for you, the attendants' faces say,
as they enjoy their cigarettes on the sidewalk
or chat on their cellphones.
And the wrecks in wheelchairs out front
look at me grimly as I lope by, which I read as,
You think you're so smart, Pops,
you'll soon be right here, with us."

Two More by Edward Field
"You take her to a restaurant, say, or a show,
on an ordinary date, being attracted
by the glitter in her slitty eyes and her catlike walk
and afterward of course you take her in your arms
and she turns into a black panther
and bites you to death.

Great Poems of the Past
The Queen Is in the Counting-House
"The Queen no longer speaks to the crowds
Nor to her husband Abdulla.
She spends almost all her days
And part of the night
Looking for the lost holy pearls
Of God's Good Grace
Pearls stolen away by the peasants
In the last land war but one."

THE OFFICIAL RALPH
Paradox-of-the-Month

GENERAL INDEX
All the back-issues of RALPH,
including titles of books under review,
along with author, subject, and publisher,
plus links to readings, articles, and poems
that have appeared on-line
since 1994.

A PITHY SAMPLE
of our most notorious reviews
as collected in the hard-copy
"FOLIO"

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